Monthly Archives: April 2015

Blog – New Pet In The Family? 4/29/2015

New Pet In The Family?

April 29th, 2015 Updated 5-2-2017

Thank you Valerie Ganolli for the suggestion.

A new pet in the can be as challenging as sandpaper or as smooth as a baby’s butt. I found a great website called Humane Society for Shelter Pets. I only read the Guides for (New) Pet Owners portion because it’s the only part pertinent to this blog request. Having just taken in a new kitten I find it to be a very informative site. Caper or more appropriately (Lucifer) is not so much a kitten in this kitten in this photo but we got him when he was a newbie.

This is limited to cats and dogs so if you just got a new sugar glider I’m sorry this won’t be of any assistance to you. I’m going to keep this blog fairly short because the previously mentioned guide does so much of the work for me. I would like to add some of my own experiences that can be found on my webpage HomeKeeperU.com. First up is a pet tip about my dog; a rescued Greyhound from Florida. Pet Tip 1. The other is about my mentally distraught cat. Pet Tip 2.

Dog and Baby Nap Together

My blogs are usually longer and address many other sites. I kind of hurried this one along because I just got the suggestion yesterday. Like I’ve already stated; if you have a new pet question the first link in this blog probably speaks to the issue. One issue it doesn’t talk about is a new pet and babies or new babies and pets. So Introducing Your Pet and New Baby may be of some assistance. I’ve done one update today and I’m still not satisfied, The next time his blog rolls around for an update, I will make it outstanding. Until next week; keep your homes well.

myhome@HomeKeeperU.com

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Blog – Do You Have Expectations For Your Child? 4/22/2015

Do You Have Expectations For Your Child?

March 22nd, 2015 Updated 4-22-2017

There are all kinds of studies to determine what the expectations of our children should be. I have one expectation of my daughter and that is to be happy. It comes with many hinges but if they’re all linked to her happiness we, as a family, need to work them all. I don’t want to have a predetermined idea about what would make her happy but I guess that I already do to some extent with The Rule of Human Need (On the Health and Happiness page). I believe this rule has to be complete through and through.

A good document to start with is “Setting Realistic Expectation“. (toggle slide bar at upper left hand corner)  On page 6 is a chart the “8 Stages of Psychological Development”, by Erik Erikson; a well respected name in psychology. Happiness certainly hinges to the appropriate parental behavior at a given stage. “Helping Children Be Their Best“, is another good article. It’s not quite as structured as Erikson’s chart.

Happiness is the goal for my daughter and I find my happiness in that. I was a little frustrated at how much unhappiness one has to endure to make for a happy future. I’ll always come back to chore time and homework time. It was hell but I knew when picking my battles these would have to be two of them. She could be the most stubborn little thing. She once had to do a chore. I remember she wouldn’t through away a piece of paper that was on the floor. I put her hand in my hand, carried her over to the piece of paper and picked it up with our hands and by  force. I walked us over to the garbage a though it away. I didn’t grasp her hand so tight as to hurt her in any way and when she realized that I was willing to do the whole room this way she gave in. Homework was similar. We both sit at the table with no television or computer until it was done. Some say not to get into a battle of wills with your children. I say be sure you win. Just pick a couple of things that you will not yield on. She does her homework and chore on autopilot today. Her good grades and doing her chores have become part of her identity.

I’ll follow that story with “8 Unrealistic Expectations Parent Have for Their Kids“. I expected that I could keep my daughter happy all the time. At least more of the time than I was successful with. I figured out that kids aren’t supposed to be happy all the time. When we start out we have much sadness to endure. We learn that we don’t set the boundaries on life, life sets the boundaries on us.  Happiness takes life’s lessons and temperament. Unhappiness should taper off as contentment broadens it’s self until contentment and happiness are one and the same. I’ve learned that I have to burst her bubble for her to have realistic expectations of happiness in the future. Cruel to be kind, in the right measure.

Our children will at some stages experience depression for seemingly no reason at all. They need to understand that we’ll be there for them and the depression will pass. Some adolescents will experience this more than others. My daughters was pretty bad and I kept asking myself and the lord “What am I doing wrong?” The answer was give her space to be angry and sad. With a little fear of jinxing myself I can say she’s come through it nicely. My ex-wife and I are reading a book we should have started a little earlier. I think all parents of teens could benefit from it. It’s called, “Get out of my life, but first could you drive me & Cheryl to the mall?”  Teen and Teenager Definition for Parents is another good article. Until next week; keep your homes well.

myhome@HomeKeeperU.com

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Blog – A Day In The Life Of A Home Keeper 4/15/2015

A Day In The Life Of A Home Keeper

April 15th, 2015

My day of home keeping doesn’t do justice to all home keepers. I’ve had it easy; only one child. I’ll include another home keeper from my life to keep it fair to the occupation.

My Gulf War Syndrome was at it’s worse around the time of my daughter’s birth. If I wasn’t laying lifeless on the couch I was making sure that she never sat too long in a soiled diaper or went without a feeding but it wasn’t just the tangibles that I was concerned with. I knew she needed affection as much as a bottle. I would sing to her and read being sure that she heard soothing vocalizations and felt a firm embrace frequently. It was grueling with the extreme fatigue associated with Gulf War Syndrome but it was magical at the same time. Cleaning I’m sorry to say took a back seat. There were other very personal complications in my life at the same time and for sure they effected my family. So from the start I was a halfhearted home keeper but a fully loving father. Eventually my wife and I divorced and separated but I could not be kept from daughter no matter the obstacle. My ex-wife and I gravitated toward civility and we’re very close today. The symptoms of the GWS have diminished over the years but I still struggle with them from time to time. Some days are worse than others.

These days I wake at 7:00 in the morning with a lot of coffee (not good for the sever diarrhea). I put out the flag , then dishes are on the agenda, then the bathroom, the living room (dusting included), walk the dog (1/2 mile) and give him 10 minutes of continuous attention, sweep the floors, pick up my daughter from school, wash out animal dishes and feed them, vacuum rugs, do dishes again, cook supper, take the dog for his second walk; 10 more minutes of attention, put the food away, do 20 minutes of family aerobics, bring the flag in, take care of my teeth, and go to bed. I do the extras that are done as needed such as take out the garbage, wash out the fridge, laundry, or mop the floors whenever I can work them in including the research and writing of this blog. It’s ironic that when I’m well enough to keep up the house my daughter is less needy then she ever has been. There was an in between time when I kept up with both my daughter and the house work. Homework and chores used to be a battle of wills and now she does them on autopilot. My ex and I do a lot of the yard work together but I carry the bulk of it. I get the home renovations and the automotive repairs and servicing. We will soon make grocery shopping exclusively mine. I am a member of the Parent Advisory Group at my daughter’s school and last year I was vice president. I am also a member of the Student Governance Committee. Add household business errands and that is pretty much a day in the life of this home keeper. I don’t want my ex-wife to have lift a finger when getting home from work. She helps out anyway and I think it makes a tighter knit to our family dynamic.

I do these things for three persons. My foster mother did them for nine. OMG the laundry alone. Not only did she manage the house for nine persons she was involved with the flea market and auction. She’d strip down old furniture to the bear wood then varnish it most times. She’d reupholster a full sized couch over a weekend. I watched her for three years and I still don’t how she did it. I have an immediate brother and two sisters. When we first went into foster care myself and my older sister were split from our two younger siblings. My foster mother eventually took in my younger brother and sister in so we could be together. There was  grievous emotional toll as well. As far as mental and emotional stability I was a sack of dirty rags. My brother and sisters had their demons too but I think mine were clearly the worse. My foster mother took it all in stride and never missed a beat. Even to this very day find myself curious as to what the members of my foster family would think about a given point of view or behavior I may be about to engage in. I’m 46 now and I still want her approval of my life.

We should get paid to do what we love to do and what we should be doing.

Last but not least; there is no higher calling to home keeping than military service and I salute my fellow service members. Should We Stay Practiced At War is about the future of keeping the Homeland. Until next week; keep your homes well.

myhome@HomeKeeperU.com

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Blog – Hormonal Teenagers And Talking 4/8/2015

Hormonal Teenagers And Talking

April 8th, 2015 Updated 4-8-2017

Thank you Christy Rose and Yolanda Gibson for the suggestion.

I’ve read over 30 articles for this blog. Partly because I had to approach it from 2 different angles and partly because I’m the father of a 14 year old girl and the articles really sucked me in. 1st approach; “hormonal teens”. There’s a lot of information on what’s happening physically with our teens but not much on communicating with them during this change. So that brings about approach number 2, “how to talk to kids”. By combining the 2 I’ve come to realize it’s like dealing with a pre-verbal baby only they have an arsenal of words and behaviors (slamming the door) that they didn’t have before. The intensity of the emotions they experience is off the charts.

Happy young children with thumbs up over white background

If your child is anything like my daughter many of the suggestions in these articles won’t always work because she’s so introverted. She just doesn’t like to speak about her feelings so I keep chipping away as best I can. The groundwork for speaking with your pubescent teen starts by employing strategy. They should be encouraged to talk to us from the time that they’re actually able to talk. I think I’ve done an OK job with my daughter but no matter the job any of us have done we’d have done it better if Occupational Parenting was a reality. Some people find that difficult to believe because they’ve done such an awesome job with their kids and others because they’ve done so poorly that they feel that nothing would help. At any rate our children all have to interact with each other and so will their children and so on. It would be great if we knew that they’d all mingling with happy healthy individuals and not have to worry about bad influences.

Though many experts, according to Changes — Helping Your Child Through Early Adolescence, believe that the hormonal effect is exaggerated. The article does give credence to role the environment can play. The Rule of Guarded Group Individualism on The Environment page of my own web site takes a look at the balancing act one must do to maintain their relationships. I do think Hormonal Teenagers (my brutal opinion) down plays these physical changes too much. I really wish the author would have said more but he’s trying to sell a book and doesn’t want to give it away.

Now lets look at some articles that think the bodily changes of teens is a big deal. Teenage Hormones and Sexuality is one such page. Raging Hormones: Helping and Understanding Your Child (Link has been changed) is concerned with the communication process.

Many recognize puberty as a period when individuals want to or will experiment with high risk behavior. This is worrisome for me and the way I handle it may or may not be advice worthy. Only time will tell. I mention my own experiences and disillusionment with risky behaviors to my daughter. If she just can’t track with direct conversation. I speak to her mother in passing so that she hears it indirectly. I express how there’s really no reason for teen pregnancy or contracting a STD when condoms are so readily available. I tell her, as she reluctantly listens, that the worst consequence of drunk driving is death; hers, someone elses or both. When she watches the news or goes on the internet what I’ve told her is confirmed.

For me peer pressure was a huge factor in my behavior which means she may have an inclination to go along with friends or the crowd. She also has her mother’s genes (Thank God) and her mother has always been able to say no. We try to guide her socially by offering a ride, no questions asked, so there will never be a reason on our part for her to drive while intoxicated or get into a car with a driver who is under the influence. We encourage her to have friends over and we fit the bill for supper even if there’s 5 or 6 of them. We want her to experience a fun time with her friends when alcohol and drugs are not present. For example, my daughter wanted to paint her room for the 3rd time in 3 years. We let her because we want her to know that she has the power to manipulate her environment (within reason) and it’s not hurting anyone. The point is she had about five friends over for a paint party. They had a great time and they normally do. Eventually I wound up doing most of the work but obviously that’s not the important part. We do a lot for her and let her do a lot. That’s good for many reasons. (1) When it’s time to discipline her we have something to take away. (2) We say yes to her often enough that when she hears no she’s not desensitized to it and it carries more weight. (3) When her emotional rebelliousness flares up she feels bad about treating us poorly. This kind of disrespect sometimes comes with correction and when it does deep down she knows it’s justified.

This blog is becoming lengthy so I want to introduce a few more links before I end it. I like this site TeensHealth because they have 3 tabs; one for parents, one for teens, and one for kids. Teen Growth & Development, Years 11 to 14 breaks down adolescent changes into stages and offers tips for parents at the end. I’m a little steamed that What Every Mom Should Know About Puberty, Teens and Hormones exclusively mentions moms because I’m a male home keeper. I like, however, fact that teens are dubbed tweens; how appropriate. There are many other articles about pubescent change. I’m not going to site all of them. Ask Google and you can find quite a few.

Communicating with our children during this time really can be like working with a toddler that’s just learned to reason. Talking With Your Kids Before Everyone Else Does (Link as been changed) lists issues that you may want to speak to your children about. Strategies for Talking with Kids has a lot of information and is very thorough. Well worth the read.

The probability is that while some teens are relatively unaffected by their hormonal changes others are controlled by them which looks very out of control. With all the shades in between these 2 different types of teens it’s important to identify where your child is and no matter where they are you have to be able to communicate with them. With all the articles I’ve sited and my personal experience I hope you’ve found the answer to any questions you may have had about communicating with your hormonal teen. Until next week; keep your homes well.

myhome@HomeKeeperU.com

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Blog – Global Warming – True Or False 4/1/2015

Global Warming – True or False

April 1st, 2015

Thank you Christy Rose for the suggestion.

I thought global warming was cut and dry; a fact without dispute. It’s not. 5 Scientific Reasons That Global Warming Isn’t Happening denies the we are experiencing any abnormal climate change.

I’m finding it really boils down to who’s numbers you want to believe. There is an extreme discrepancy. In the article No Global Warming In 17 years it is claimed that the carbon dioxide level in the atmosphere is 390 parts per million; up from 370 ppm. It doesn’t give a time period for the increase. How We Know Global Warming is Real and Human Caused reports that the carbon dioxide has never exceeded 300 ppm in any previous interglacial period ( a warmer period that separates glacial periods ). The interglacial that we currently exist in is called the Holocene and has lasted for 11,700 years. eSkeptic does say we are close to 400 ppm today so 390 ppm does seem to be in the ballpark but still desperate. There is also discrepancies about the polar icecaps. The climate change deniers says Arctic ice is up 50% since 2012 while those who believe in global warming claim the icecaps are melting and breaking up at an alarming rate.

So why is there so much difference in the claims of the the pro global warming and con global warming sides (deniers)? Both have motive to skew their numbers. The deniers are obviously supported by the industries that use fossil fuels. We all know that’s big money. It is in the interest of pro global warming groups to tip their numbers to gain mass appeal and money to fund studies and solutions. The deniers report that 31,000 scientist have signed a petition stating that humans are not the cause of warming trends. That’s only 3% of 12,000,000 scientist that say humans are are responsible for abnormal climate change.

I’m going to get off the fence with this one and state that automobiles and industry have made enough of a sweeping change that it would be not only be noticeable but extremely adverse. More and more people have driven cars every year for 129 years. The internal combustion engine produces 18.07 lbs of carbon dioxide for every gallon of gas burned. That’s 325.26 lbs per 18 gallon tank and 7,806.24 lbs carbon dioxide (For every car in the world) per year at two tanks a month. These facts alone are enough to convince me that humans have astronomically changed the amount of carbon dioxide in the atmosphere without even considering other man made factors like factories, deforestation, the increase of methane producing livestock, and landfills. It seems to me that man has left his finger prints at scene of every environmental crime. Why would this be any different.

It’s easy to pass blame onto 31,000 scientist for signing a petition that maybe half of them knew was wrong. But, if you were a scientist graveling and scraping for grant money, and someone said “You’ll never gravel for grant money again, I’m giving 40 million dollars. You’d be temped; especially if you had nowhere else to go in science because you said smoking tobacco doesn’t cause cancer. The problem is that these scientist are a chalk block on a car wheel. Tons of momentum held back by a tiny wedge. I’m a Complete Christian and I think these scientist are in the role of the scholar Judas Iscariot. Only it’s the world that’s being sacrificed or murdered. It’s not dead yet and there time for correction.

Like the end of last week’s blog it’s good to remember “where one thing is balanced to another a sweeping change will have ripples and they must have containment or breakers or both”. Our ripples are becoming tidal waves.

Con-global warming acknowledgement

Why is Global Warming False?

Pro-global warming acknowledgement

Why is Global Warming True?

As we take our baby steps into the Space Age there may be some that believe that we can just leave the Earth behind and find new digs. The Universe wants balance and God demands accountability. We aren’t going to be able to go planet to plant destroying one after another. What do our neighbors think of us? We must have neighbors (Do Aliens Exist). When determining “what makes a human their best”, the first thing that needs to be considered is “What is a human?” The very next thing to consider is “What’s the human’s best environment.” Occupational Parenting puts an immediate focus on our environment and promotes other energy consumption and conversion ideas beyond fossil fuels. It also creates jobs for those in the fossil fuel industry. Give Occupational Parenting and our future a chance. Until next week; keep your homes well.

myhome@HomeKeeperU.com

Welcome  About Me  Occupational Parenting   Health and Happiness  The Human Element  The Perceivable Universe  The Environment  Word Play  Conclusion  Glossary                                        In The Kitchen  Pets Tips  Cleaning Tips  Parenting Tips  Blog

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