Retraction For “Why Not Cuss?”
May 31st, 2017
Below is the blog “Why Not Cuss?” as it ran, updated 5-19-2017. Below that I have typed the retraction.
I’ve always let my daughter cuss. Before you get distressed hear me out. I do not favor swearing and consider it to inherently and expressly different than cussing. Instead of “I swear to God” or “I swear on my mother’s grave”, Let your yes be yes and your no be no. By that concept there is no reason to swear.
Cussing on the other hand is arbitrarily making a word bad. A word is phonetic sounds grouped together to form words. There are no good sounds or bad sounds so why is there good words and bad words. If in an older time there was the need to minimize the change in any specific language over the miles and reduce the development of dialect there is no such need now. Technology has all of us right next door to each other; purely tribal persons excluded. Since I couldn’t explain to my daughter why one phonetic sound was bad and another was good I let her cuss. In the name of healthy socialization she was only allowed to cuss around me; no other adults or children. Folks really get steamed when you tell them there’s nothing wrong with saying “fuck”. They cling very tightly to bad sounds and good sounds. It reminds me of:
Some words have a bad meaning such as “hate”. I explain to my daughter that it’s a very powerful word and she should only use it when she couldn’t feel or think worse of a subject but I don’t stop her from using it. “Nigger” has become the granddaddy of all bad words. Though it is rooted in ignorance it is only more ignorant to make it unspeakable. It should be redefined to fit everyone.
Nigger: A person that is ignorant to any degree as it pertains to existence.
Niggerism: One’s degree of ignorant thought or behavior as it pertains to existence.
These definitions seem much more productive to me instead of saying The “N” Word like we’re in first grade. This still leaves plenty of room for nigga a word of comradery among some African Americans. There should be an appropriate time and place for every sound we can make. No bad sounds; no good sounds just meaningful sounds and un-meaningful sounds.
There is an emotional take on cussing as well. Sometimes emotionally only the cuss will do. To scream “fudge” after hitting ones hand with a hammer doesn’t carry the same sense of satisfaction as yelling “fuck”. So why the difference in emotional satisfaction. The Rule of Socialized Genetics on The Environment page holds the answer. We’ve actually bred in the emotional taboo and shock value of the word or words. Some are desensitized to the taboo and shock. Everyone could be desensitized to “Bad Words”. It’s just a matter of what’s best for society.
The last paragraph on the Word Play page is a blurb on this topic. Until next week. Keep your homes well
The correction I’d like to make has to do with what I call the emotional take on cussing. I believe horrible things have been done over the ages, and associated to our cuss words. All those events reside with us in our socialized genetics. The emotional release we feel when screaming “Fuck!!!” comes with a price. The stress we are encountering mimics a stressful event(s) in our genes. They’re probably unresolved issues and we carry on in the course of the day with those unresolved issues begging to be solved. It’s all going on emotionally and our conscious mind has no idea what our emotions want want us to do. I think cuss words are powerful words for this reason.
I don’t believe the the emotional triggers should stay buried in their unstable states. They need to be vented or they will have extraordinary power over us when they are used. That being said. I think it was the wrong decision to allow my daughter to cuss. I think it sounded emotions from her genetics that she was not yet ready to deal with. She always had very adult expectations of life but no where near the ability to fulfill the demands of those expectations. It didn’t make for a happy person. She’s 17 now and her abilities are starting to catch to her expectations. I think we’re finally coming out from under the dark cloud that followed her around. I mean she wasn’t constantly depressed but she did have some anger issues. Of course there are many other variables to be assessed in my princess’s state of existence but looking back I would have had her hold off on the cussing.
In conclusion I still do not regret my behavior. I wished my parents or any adults could have said to me, anything similar to what I’ve presented. Actually it could have been totally different than what I’ve presented, as long as it made sense to me. “Because I said so,” is the STUPIDEST and most ARROGANT answer ever given. I despise the behavior of those who simply do what their told; never questioning it. It’s totally un-American; hell, it’s un-Christian . I served in the military for 4 years and I know how to take orders and carry them out. If their is ever a problem with those orders I should know why I’m performing them. If my Country ask me kill another individual, I will do it. If my Country asks me to murder another individual I will have no part in it, I believe there is a difference between killing and murder. I can explain that difference to my daughter and now when she, God willing, has a family, I can give her my opinion on letting her children cuss and I’ll have a reason why. Because if parenting isn’t about answering your children’s questions, it isn’t about anything at all.
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